Missing Piece.

Here I go again with another emo post. I can't help it. It's the only place where I can type my heart out. Cause there's just nothing better than an empty paper ready to be filled with various, bombastic, outrageous words.

It's almost two weeks without him. I've been finding rebounds to cover up the ache I feel inside. I miss him so much. Even after I found some rebounds, I feel so heartless with them. Like everything I wanna share with them is like "I rather not" feeling. They just don't get me like how you do or did. You blend with my insanity so well. I don't even know why. I just couldn't bare. I've been trying to be so strong these days. Ask Elaine. Even she's trying hard to keep me distracted. But it's just impossible.

Yes I am living the days without you but even when I'm happy, I just can't do it. It's so wrong without you. I feel so incomplete. Like there's something missing. I've been distracting myself from you real hard these days. Then, when I see you with them. They talk to you more than I do now. It's not fair. How could so many of them take my place? It's just not fair. I feel so weak and broken every time I see that and just look away and try keeping my mind from reminding me about it.

It's so painful you know. It is. So. Painful. Sometimes I just cry a little and asked myself what went wrong between our routines and why is everything fading away? I don't even know whether everything will come back as the way it is. Even if it did, what will happen then? I don't even know whether You will ever talk to me again. It hurts so bad. Especially to see you with your "girls" and so close to them. Don't expect me to be a mind reader. Your actions are just so obvious that they're so much better than me.

I just miss you. I miss talking to you. I miss everything. I hate that you went away without a word. I hate that you made me feel like they're better than me. That I'm no longer a someone in your life. That I'm just everyone else. Don't you think you owe me an explanation? How is this fair that it's hurting me more than it's hurting you? Honestly, I can live without you but there will always be that missing piece in my life.

That one piece of my life that only you can fit it perfectly. I. Sigh. I miss you.