"Wish that I could make you turn around. Turn around and see me cry. There's so much I need to say to you. So many reasons why. You're the only one who really knew me at all."
I know I said this like a million times that I'm tired. I'm tired of all these shits. Yes I'm heartbroken. Yes I care. Even when I told myself that I'm done caring, I never did. Why? Cause it's my fault. My fucking fault for caring too many fucking people cause I expect each and every fuck of them to care for me back. No. No you can never please people. Why? Cause all you will get is heartache! Yeah he and she can make you feel like you are the most important people in their life. Oh wait a second, the next day you mean nothing to them! NOTHING!
When I'm so hurt right now, the ones that cause this pain is having the time of their lives. How I wish I could just die. It will be so much easier for EVERYONE. Where are you when I needed you the most? Where are all the friends when I need them right now?! WHERE?! Oh right, I'm just so unimportant. BEST FRIENDS FOREVER? Here's another thing that PROVES. FOREVER DOES NOT EXIST! "No matter what happens I still care" That's so convincing.
Here am I crying and typing my heart out and looking at my phone, who's there? WHO THE FUCK IS THERE? I need to start accepting the fact that nobody in this world could make me as happy as I was 3 years ago. That 5 months is all I need to be happy and where I am now. Broken into pieces. I'm the type a person who catch a grenade for the people I care but they won't do the same. They never did, never will. All the talk about trust, being truthful and honest. Where did all the happy times gone by?
Here's the confession, honestly. When it comes to you, I just can't. I just can't let things go by and ignore you for the rest of my life. I can't do that. No matter how angry I am, I still care so much. No matter how aching my heart is I just can't leave. How did you become so important to me? I just don't know. I can't explain it myself. I know getting mad and snapping at you is my fault. I just. I can't do it. I can go all diva ego bitch with everyone. But when it's you, I'm just that same annoying overly emotional girl that you know.
Just give me a little more faith and some hope to believe in and I will blindly believe it. Cause it's me. I give chances even when no one deserves it. That's what I need. A little bit faith with proof and convincing. I guess that was too much to ask for.
