I Don't Belong Here.

Well it's not the first time I cried and blog things out. I'm such a bitch. I'm a pain in the ass. I don't know how to trust anyone anymore. I don't even know how to see people anymore. Their fakeness are so thick. Even when you thought that person was the closest one to you. Your friend. Your connection. Someone who you can trust.

Again I'm typing this line, I'm always wrong. I'm not gonna do anything anymore. I'm just gonna stay in my room and rot. I'm so stupid. Forever? No. I'm clearly the stupidest person alive. I'm such a weirdo. I'm so annoying. Overly sensitive. Everything is my fault. That's why people walk away from my life. Because I'm just too bad. Rotten. I can't even type properly now. My hands are shivering badly and my eyes are just so watery.

When will I ever learn? Why is it so hard for me to be heartless? Why can't I be the mean one? To be the one hurting someone? But then it all comes back to how weak I am. I can't hurt anyone but myself. People are having fun out there. They're laughing. While I'm here sobbing, crying and trying to breathe. Isn't it better if I just don't exist? It won't affect anyone. I won't bring pain to people. Isn't it better if I'm just dead? Everyone's life will be much more easier, happier.

So is disappearing is my only way now? 99% yes. No one will ever notice that I'm gone. Nobody cares. No one will ever notice even if I'm dead. How am I supposed to tell myself to stay strong? :'( Tears are dropping down one by one. I'm worthless.