Something Worth

There's no other choice I have now than being strong. Getting over Jason is not hard. I always have no problem keeping myself occupied. But then even last time I waited for him for so long, I knew I was waiting for something worth it. That i'll meet him soon and everything's gonna be fine. I guess now i feel that it was better that way then not knowing what we're waiting for. Right?

At least he gave me the feeling that he's staying. He used to be every part of my life. But now there's just missing pieces everywhere cause he's gone. People might say the way he treated me is what I dont deserve. To think back, he tried everything he could and yeah. Maube i should love someone who dated before. Who knows how the pain feels.

To wait for someone. Wanting to make a move but too afraid that you'll fall right back to where you started. Or maybe i'm just too paranoid. With Jason I always have that certainty that he will come back for me. But now, it's so different and unpredictable. And i feel like he's disappearing or something.

Maybe my heart is just tired. I should stop finding. Put this part on hold and focus on something else. Who knows maybe all these lonely nights are gonna be worth it. Somehow.