To everyone that hate and loves me out there.

Well, I don't know if anyone is reading my blog. But I'm writing anyways. I can't deny that I did shits to a lot of people. But sometimes, life leave me no choice. Either you annoy me too much or I just hate you. Hey, I can't do anything. Haters are gonna hate. Mistakes are what I always make and I will keep making it cause nobody's perfect. I'm just being the best who I can be. I might be hypocrite sometimes. Well,all the time. I just learn not to give a damn on too many things.

When I feel that some people are too complicating for me, I slowly leave them. I want my life to be simple and happy. If I feel that you're holding me back from my happiness, I have to let you go and end your character in my book. I know I'm never a good person. It depends on who you are and how you treat me. For some people, I'm a real bitch. But for some, I'm the best thing that they ever have.

So, I have confession to make. I'm still in a relationship with Jason. Yes,I did took some time apart from him and see other people but mostly I was trying to figure out what I want for myself. Not what he wants, not what my friends want or my parents want. I was trying to figure out what I Want. Yes, being with him is a tough job. I know. He likes to be alone and always talk to people that I don't like.

When I decided to leave him that day, I felt relieved. But I also felt that something was missing. He doesn't give me all the attention I want but somehow it's not what I need now. When we went out that day, I see him. I look at him. There's so many questions. Yeah, I might not understand him but you see when he wrapped his arms around me and just that moment, just me and him. I feel so complete.

All the hurting and the waiting was so worth it. When I have him all to myself, it was so complete. Who says that distance relationships will ever be easy. Especially when we're still studying. Yeah we might be apart but somehow he makes me complete in a very weird, unsatisfying way. Yes, I always change my mind. But I tried leaving him so many times. This would be the last. I won't leave him anymore.

I always knew that me and him are gonna have a hard time. Love is just so weird. If you're in love, you'll do crazy stuffs, you're willing to make sacrifices, you'll be willing to wait. If you're in love,you'll understand. I know somehow that he is worth it. I said it before that I know that thing that I have for Jason is something different and I know he does too,hopefully.

Maybe others can't understand. I can't understand it either. As long as he loves me, I'll wait. As long as he's still making effort to be in my life, I'll stay. Even if it hurts. Even if I have to wait. If he believes that we're gonna last, then I'll stay as long as possible. If he's not giving up, I won't give up so easily too. People will understand somehow. Maybe then, I will understand what we have.

Lastly, I love you Jason. Please make this worth.