Just When I thought Everything is Over.

I want to move on. I want to feel alive again. I want to know how it feels like to be normal or just a simple feeling everyday. No,it never worked. I don't know why. I tried so hard to move on to forget about him, to not think of him or cry for him anymore. I just want to feel happy again. I have depression and I'm afraid to admit it cause I don't want people think that i'm mentally ill or something. I admit that I have problems with my emotions.

Lately,my emotions are unstable or something. I'm  just so stubborn. I always say that I don't miss him. I don't need him in my life but honestly,I still miss him,I still need him but I don't want him back in my life.I still cry for him at night.Guess I'd put my whole heart for him and he crushed me into pieces with just 1 word. I don't know. Sometimes,being naive is good and sometimes,it kill my life.

Look at what I've been thru the whole trial month and this week. I finally see who's true and not true in front of me and now he just keep putting me all the blame again. He already ruined my life at home and now he ruined my life at school. What should I do? I just want a happy simple life after the whole break up thing. But no,he's just not over it,is he? I seriously,ugh.

Well,life is like that,huh? Or it is just me? When is the suffering is gonna end? When will it stop hurting me all the time? Sigh.