"Even the sun sets in paradise."
Him. The one that always stays there in my mind. The one that makes me feel a little bit less lonely. Liking someone is hard. Having to accept the fact that they'll never like you the same way is even harder. Nah. I'm too used to being this way. I don't really need a man by my side now. I can't even take care of myself. Well, it's okay. I'll always have friends that care. The ones I can really count on. But sometimes my heart is just so annoyed. I don't even know why. Whatever they do or they post or say will offend me a lot and leaves a very uneasy feeling in my heart.
I don't know what's wrong with me or what the hell is going on but it's not good. Definitely not right and damn unhealthy for me and my studies. Argh. I just don't know why. I'm so emotionally imbalance right now. I feel annoyed easily, so easily in temper and so imbalance. I feel so heartless. Like I know my heart is still hurting but it's so hurt that I feel nothing. It's like I'm so used to it. I know I have everything. I have friends. I don't know what's bothering me so much. Maybe I should really start meditating. =.=" Lol What's wrong with me? Sheesh.
Sometimes I feel like I'm keeping myself away from the people I really care. I don't know why. I just don't want to give them all my negative energy. Sometimes I feel so bad. When my friends needed me the most, I'm not there. Sigh. I don't know. I'm still stressing that there's something wrong with me. Honestly, I don't think I can ever love anymore. Well, not for now. Don't know how long is that "now". Sometimes even music can't calm me down. Or even writing. I need to swim. Breathe. Stop thinking so much about everything that's going on.
But sometimes even I want to stop. Things just won't let me. Either there'll be something coming up or family or new problems. I need to find one day without having to worry what time to come home or people calling me and finding me and stuffs. Just one day being happy with myself. Since I can't get the people I want, why not just let it go at once and forget about it. I really need to forget about it. My heart needs a very long break. Nobody can stop me this time.
