Memories.

You know I always have this thing when it comes to write stuffs. I always have that right moment and that right feeling to write something where I think it'll turn out to be the best one I've written. I might not have the best grammar or vocabulary but I write things that it's easy for the heart to understand. Well, that's what I think.

To think back the life that I have now and the life I had before this, it brings back so much memories. I can't say all of them were bad. But I'm gonna write some of the best and worst memories I know and always remember. I take things very deeply sometimes. I have this habit of observing things and people that are in my life. 

1. Elaine.
She is a one crazy ass sister/wife/twin/bestfriend/soulmate or whatever you wanna call it. She's not just a memory. She's one of the person that creates the memories with me. The one who lived thru every part of my life. Thru all the bullshits and the happiness in my life. I remember where we can spend all day just talk. The times we cry together. The way we made fun of people. The times we fight. My 16th birthday. The things you do for me. The way laughed so hard each time we meet. How I can be myself when I'm with you. How I feel like home when I'm with you. There were never problems that we couldn't solve. The love/hate relationship we have can never be replaced. The sneak outs. The stayovers. The stupid moments we went thru. Please remember that we'll be best friends no matter where we are or how far we are. No matter how long we didn't talk and when we do, it'll feel like we never stopped talking. Nothing can change that. Nothing can change us. Forever.

2. 2010
What a memory. It'll all started on 22nd May. Just one text on that night at 2.30am changed my whole life. He was my everything. When he said "I actually kinda like you too". That's the time I realized that I can never love anyone as much as I loved him. The way he cheers me up and touches my face when I'm sad. The way he accepted how messed up my life is and still chose to be with me. He owned me completely. I never felt so happy in my life before. The way he holds me in his arms and took away my 1st kiss. It was worth it I guess? The memories with him is not all bad but they are beautiful. I can never forget him. 22nd October was the day I lost my heart. I lost how people looked at me. How my mom looked at me. I've waited one year for him. After all the things I've sacrificed and the things he swore. From that time, I was never me again.

3. Him.
After two years of suffering from depression and all the mistakes I've done. I somehow grew into them. I was stronger. Heartless. I hurt a guy who actually loves me cause I was trying to find myself. But then I met someone. I don't know how to describe this but I approached him the way how I approached my ex back in 2010. I have no idea why I felt like talking to him and spilling things on him. It's funny. I don't do that. But with him, I felt the things that I haven't felt for quite some time. There's something about him that I just can't figure out. I don't know how to explain. The way we talk about almost everything randomly. He might not feel that way. But he reminds me so much of someone I used to love and it's all coming back now. The way he looks at me. He gives me a very strange feeling. It's not bad. It's just different. I fell for him so easily. The sunset. The beach. The endless conversations. I just can't explain. Just to realize, I can't and I don't know how to stop this feeling.

What's gonna come in life is still a mystery but every moment of it. Every tiny little details. We should make it worth. Create memories. Live the moments while we still can. I sure had the best memories here. It might not turned out to be what I want but at least, it'll be something to remember. Those are the ones that counts. The ones that teaches you and reminds you what's left and what's about to come in our lives. It's how you chose to live it. Either to relive the old one or to create something even more beautiful than before.

I can never stop writing the memories I had with everyone in my life. The special ones like him and Elaine. Those are the priceless moments. I bet there are more to come :)