Forever alone or not?

I've been hurting the whole day now. Every time I close my eyes, I cry. So bad. The pain is the same pain I've felt last two years. I'm gonna take two days off from him. Just to clear my mind and make 100% decisions. I wanted to be sure of what I'm going to decide.

The whole day I was hurting, Jacob was there for me. He texted me. He listens. Apparently he comforts me. Even when he got nothing to say, he tries. The whole day, the non stop cryings. Jacob was there comforting me. I feel so easy and relaxed around him. Even he's always with his forever alone advices. Haha

But I feel so attached to him and I wasn't even trying. It just happened. I'm happy. He makes me happy. I don't even need to try anything when it comes to him. It comes naturally. When I was so hurt and literally sobbing, I didn't reply him. Then an hour later he sent another text saying that he hopes I'll be okay by tomorrow. And if I ever need him, he'll always be there.

He's a really really good friend. Even I feel that we're both soulmates. Maybe it's just not the right time yet. But I rather focus on myself for now. And end everything once and for all. Distance relationships are hard. I'm not planning to stay with him. He needs to study and I need too. My future is important.

I wish that Jacob will keep his words longer. That he'll won't abandon me again. Not anymore. Like what he said. I rather be forever alone than keep hurting myself like this. I'm not ready for a relationship. I can't even figure out myself yet. How am I supposed to take care of someone else?

Till then, let's hope everything goes well...