National Service and this.....

Well as far as all of you know,I'm stuck in NS for 3 months. But they say we're the luckiest batch cause we only have to service for them for 77 days. Yeah,it sounds little right? Imagine you have to grow thru it everyday. Waking up at 4.30am and sleep at 11.30 and sometimes 12.00am. That's like 4-5 hours of sleeping only. Sometimes if can't sleep,2-3 hours only.

Plus,the weather there is super crazy. Middle of the afternoon ask us to the padang kawad and stand under the sun for 2 hours -.- The food there. It's not entirely bad though. Breakfast is the best food there. Others are chili,santan and more chili. Awesome right? Plus,now there's so many of them are sick. Fever,flu and cough. The only thing that the medic can do is give paracatemol -.-

They should give antibiotic! My gosh -.- Despite all the negative things there, I also knew a lot of new friends. Well, I don't think they really like me cause I hate that place for sake of that place. All of us are unwillingly forced to go give our service there. It's almost like a prison. They provide dry-cleaning there. So we don't have to wash the uniforms.

I guess if they give us at least 6 hours of sleep,we wouldn't be this cranky and complain about everything. It's gonna be easier for us cause we have enough sleep and more energy to go throughout the day. Well, NS is not that bad actually. Just the 1st few weeks are quite depressing.

Now,it's CNY and semester holiday. Finally. Home is like heaven. Maybe NS is a good lesson in my life and a really good experience. I don't know whether I've changed or people around me have changed. I have that sense of maturity in me but I just don't like using it. Cause I prefer life with more smile and less depressing. I've went thru that for 2 years and I think I deserve to be as happy as I want it to be.

I guess people just don't understand. I can't figure out everyone completely. At least tell me what's going on your mind. I'm tired of trying to get you. I'm so attached to you that I don't wanna lose you but it seems so different now. We're not as close as we used to be. Don't worry about me not having my time to grow up. I will. But it's just not with you. You're different. We're different. That's why we're attached.

But now, I'm not sure anymore. I have doubts shouting in my mind. I really don't what I should do. Or maybe I just don't trust myself enough to trust you. I'm exhausted. Really. Just tell me what you want so that it would be easier for me to listen to you and help. Please.