Heartless.

Love? Bullshit. Forever? Fuck it. I don't believe in all these shits anymore. Feelings? Long gone. My heart? Lost it. I don't have all these things with me. Happiness? They never lasts. Words? They never stay. Neither will I. What's the point of living when you're just stuck in the dark? No matter how right you do it or how hard you try. It never ends. Nothing is worth the risks I take. Everything will somehow ended up in pain and pieces.

I always end up hurting and falling and picking myself up while bleeding. When is it gonna end? These days I've been fighting with my mind and struggling thru the heartaches to focus on exams. I keep telling myself that it's just few more days. Be strong. Always be strong. I don't cry anymore. There's just no tears coming out at all. I just suffer the heartache and sleep with those broken pieces in hope that it will heal in the morning.

Sometimes I've even begged. Beg the heartache to go away. Beg someone, anyone to take the pain away from me. Where else could I seek love and attention? Home is never a good place to start since ever. Other places just brings me more pain. Am I doomed to be lonely? Doomed to suffer all these pain? Or am I just another girl who's in desperation of love and attention? Naive and immature? Never ending blaming people around me but myself? Am I?

The question is will there ever be someone who can see me as I am? Love me as I am? Be the one who tries and chasing instead of me being in that position? People say it's not the time yet. So when is it? I've been waiting seems like a very long time. I have a mind where everything feels like the end now. I don't think any wise words would ever stop the bleeding. Positive? Where did it brought me? Back to the way I am. Falling to pieces.

Nothing can cure back this pain. Nothing can bring me happiness now. I'm just another lost soul seeking for a lil bit of light to shine.