I miss him but I don't want him

Just now in the car when I was on my way to dance class, ne-yo's Closer played on the radio. Suddenly the past took a visit in my mind. I remember he used to sit beside me on the piano and put his phone there and turn on the song. We were so in love that we didn't care what was happening around us.


He just looked into me and say he loves me. Well,past is always the past. I never realized that he would ever leave me. I always think whether everything that he wrote on that letter was true or not. Now,I've got my answer. Exams over. He swore to come back for me.


But here is the real ending,he is now dating with my so called BFF and destroyed my whole life in high school. He made wait in a hanging mode. I did complained but i never did stop loving him. I thought that we really had something there.


I guess love is really blind and it really caught me off guard. I made so many mistakes. Millions to be exact. But I never regretted any one of it except the part that i fell too hard on him. Now it's just me living my life the way it should be. I see things so differently now. I enjoy being single but I don't enjoy being lonely at times.


I still cry myself to sleep. Yes,I do. I still think of him sometimes. Yes,I do. But I don't want him back. I don't want him to ruin my life anymore. I tell myself that everyday. Remind myself of what I have learned when he chose her over me. What he did that no one knows. That no one actually understood the real story.


Sorry won't be any help anymore. I'm done with him. I have moved on. I don't need him. But he will always be there in my mind cause he was someone I used to love very much. He will be locked up tightly in my mind. Far far back in my mind. That is where he belongs now. The past.