Just when I thought I did it....

You know when I finally have that fire in me and everything just keep pouring on it and POOF! It disappears~ Curses.. My exams sucks like hell and I'm expecting myself to get 7 A's. How humiliating is that? OMG! I know it's gonna be like this but not my piano too! Today(19.06.11) is my trial exam! and my scales are horrible! My sight reading! Don't even wanna talk about it anymore!

Now I know how horrible and stupid I am! I've been so busy taking care of my feelings that I don't even care about my own future! Damn it! Now, I'm all 100% focus on what I want. Make my dreams come true. I'm not letting anything distract me anymore. I'm gonna get merit in my piano exam and improve my studies ASAP!

I'm gonna give up now. I know my mom will be disappointed again but I'm gonna work hard this time. No more getting back to the past. No more him either. I'm gonna forget about him completely. I won't let anyone who judge me by my looks or colour to bring me down. I will only rely and trust myself and my family & friends.

There's no more fooling around! I'll be great! You'll see! I'll prove it!! I'm gonna be independant and show my talent!